So Sad

When I look into my children’s eyes I am overwhelmed with sadness.

Sadness pouring over me like heavy, dark, wet, thick, slow.



I know I will never be able to love them enough;

Love them like they need to be loved.

Fill them up.

Make them full.

Full to the brim.

Enough love.

Full of love.


I am not capable.

I don’t know how.

Can’t do it.

Want to so badly.

Want to with all my heart.


How could I?

So empty.

So achy.

So unfulfilled.

So sad.